Oh, the pressure. The pressure!! If this is your first time getting down with the funky brown, Manly Mondays are weekly celebrations of everything wonderful about M-E-N. Sometimes we drool over a particular guy; however, more often than not, we gab about general testosterone-related subjects of the day. I wasn’t sure who should be the first Manly Monday pick for 2009. Barack Obama would be an obvious choice, but I’m saving that delicious nibble of a man until inauguration because I’m going to DC for the festivities. In the spirit of “closing” last year, here’s a round up of some of my — and, based on comments, your — favorite 2008 Manly Monday picks. Enjoy!

The Brown Chick Who Sometimes Dates White Dudes
I like my milk like I like my men. White with no fat.

Are Good Guys Drawn to Bad Girls?
Is it true that good guys are drawn to “bad girl” girlfriends, but they settle down with women they think would make “good girl” wives? (For the flipside, is it true that good girls are drawn to “bad boy” boyfriends, but they settle down with men they think would make “good” husbands?) BONUS: For my views on the “good girl” vs. “bad girl” bullshit, read: Twanna, The Madonna Whore.

How to Hide an Erection
Funny, informational video that provides excellent tips for concealing unexpected boners.

Manly, Hot, Asian-American Men
“[S]tatistics show that ‘Asian man/black woman’ is the least common of all interracial combinations, representing less than 0.01 percent of all marriages in the United States — a total of just 6,000 couples across the entire country.” Change starts at home; I’m ready to be part of the solution.

Top 10 Hottest DILFs (Dads I’d Like To Fuck)
Men with children have never been hot … until now.

A Guy’s Perspective on Thr33somes
ROYAL YOUNG: While discussing fine wines with Twanna at an East Village loft after party for a reading at Gramercy Park National Arts Club, she told me she had just had a thr33some. “I’m writing about my thr33some!” I exclaimed. Being a dude, I was eager to hear it from a ladies’ perspective, especially since the two ladies involved in mine had jilted me.

Penises: Cut vs. Uncut
Light-hearted discussion about the relative merits of circumcision.

Who’s Responsible for Orgasms? Men or Women?
When two people are in bed together, are both entitled to an orgasm if each desires (and is able to have) one?

How to Buy Men’s Sex Toys
Learn more about (or purchase) the toys.

H-A-W-T!!!! Jon Yongfook
Fuck. Look at him. God, he’s gorgeous, isn’t he? In his own words, Yongfook hails from “Her Majesties United Kingdom of Great Britain Scones Tea Cricket Beer.” Beauty *and* a sense of humor?!?! Somebody dip this man in honey and bring him to me so I can lick him!!

Men Who Like BBW Sex
I think a blogger named Mollena hit the nail on the head when she said: “I do not think that there is a correlation between sexual activity and weight.”

Does Size Matter?
I could espouse the joys of being with a big guy. At the same time, I’ve certainly had thrilling “Os” with little guys who really knew how to work their magic and please women. Does size matter? Or, is technique more important?

Technorati Tags: Hines, Manly Monday, Twanna

The Big “O.” Orgasms. Mr. Poopy Pants a.k.a. Moebius was in New York over the weekend, and we met up for savory quiches, Pinot Grigio and red velvet cupcakes at Sweet Revenge. I think it’s been more than a year since we saw each other. He looks the same, perhaps a little thinner. He’s cute. He knows it. I’d describe him in detail, but that might give his “identity” away to longtime Funky Brown Chick readers and inflate his ego. So, moving right along … In conversation, “Moebius” and I agree on a lot of stuff but we also vehemently disagree. Take orgasms, for example. Question: When two people are in bed together, are both entitled to an orgasm if each desires and is able to have one? I’d say yes. If I’m in bed with a guy and I get him off, I typically want him to get me off too. It’s only fair. Moebius agrees. He says, basically, “When I’m in bed with a woman, I do everything I can to make her come.” Good boy. “But once she comes,” he adds, “my responsibility ends there. I’ve done my job. My work is finished. I’m going to sleep. If she wants another orgasm, that’s her responsibility. That’s what vibrators are for.” What. The Fuck??? If I’m in bed with a guy, I want him to please me as much as I desire to be pleased. And, I’m willing to do the same for him. I get off on getting guys off, and I usually wanna do it more than once. If he’s ready to go again, I’m almost aways good to go. If I’m dating a guy and he wakes me up by cuddling a not-so-subtle daytime erection against my warm body, believe me, it’s my pleasure to oblige.

“Everything from your nails to your orgasm is your responsibility,” counter-argues The Frisky. (I love that site.) “If he can’t handle the job, you should finish it off.” I agree. If he’s unable to do the job, I’m more than willing to take care of myself. That said, if I ask a dude to have sex with me, it’s because I crave his penis, fingertips and tongue pressed against every inch of my body. Shit, if I just wanted my hands and/or plastic & batteries, why the hell is the guy in my bed????? :) SIDENOTE: Seeeee, THIS is one of the many reasons I’m drawn to younger men; they’re quite happy to take care of me as much as I like.

It goes without saying: no one should be forced to do anything they don’t want to. If a guy simply isn’t in the mood, that’s fine. I’m strictly talking about guys who rebelliously feel they shouldn’t have to go the extra O. What say you, dear readers? During sex, after both partners have come once, who’s responsible for further pleasure?

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Credit paid: Red feather photo is by Kai Kuusik-Greenbaum

Technorati Tags: daytime erections, funky brown chick, funkybrownchick, Hines, Moebius, multiple, nocturnal penile tumescence, NPT, orgasms, Twanna, Twanna A. Hines, vibrators

Today’s post is sexy & short because I’ve got other shit on my mind. Boy drama. Might share details later today. Or, tomorrow. Or, maybe, never. We’ll see how I feel about everything in a bit. Anyway, in the meantime, the new Manly Monday pick is a guy named Nick. If you read this post, you know I judged Jen Dziura’s First Annual Man Pageant over the weekend. Additional photos — including a couple of him sexily clad in underwear — are posted on my Flickr, Jen’s Flickr, Dacia’s Flickr and elsewhere online.

Um, yes, OF COURSE I noticed he’s cuddling a brown girl in one of his photos!!! Hot, right??!?! (Psssst, if you’re new on Funky Brown Chick today, read this, this, this and this.) Anyway. The best part of the man pageant? All the guys REALLY got into it. They serenaded us, tried to win our votes with flowers and beamed 100 watts brighter as we told them what we loved about their handsome faces, hard bodies and adorable talent competition segments for boxing, singing, poetry and comedy. I asked one of the guys, Michael, “So, is this your first time participating in a male beauty pageant?” He smiled, blushed and was like, “Um, yeah. I can pretty safely say this is the first time for all the guys here.” It was too cute! Job well done, boys.

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Credit paid: Nick’s modeling portfolio images appear online at Model Mayhem.

Technorati Tags: Asian men, black women asian men, blasian, Hines, Jen Dziura First Annual Man Pageant, Madame X, men I wanna make Blasians with, Model Mayhem, New York City, NYC, sexy asian man, Twanna, Twanna A. Hines

Okay, I thought I’d do something different for this week’s Manly Monday. A bunch of straight women email me privately to ask questions about sex toys, but I’m surprised heterosexual guys rarely ask about them. Guys, I’m not sure if you’re embarrassed or something else is going on. In any case, for dudes who want the information, here’s the quick a dirty about five playthings that work well for dudes. I’m not tagging this post NSFW because I don’t think learning about men’s sexual self pleasure is cause for shame. By the way, HUGE thank you to the sex positive folks at Babeland for partially sponsoring www.funkybrownchick.com. Click the links below to learn more about or purchase the toys.

1. Orbit Ring Vibe. Good for couples — slip the ring over your shaft and and use the vibrator part for your partner. Nice toy for couples who’d like to explore using sex toys together.

2. Maverick or the Blossom Sleeve. Click either link to look at pictures. Basically, penis sleeves are comforting little gloves for your big member downstairs.

3. Fleshlight. Interactive Life Forms makes it, and they have an online forum with questions, answers and other detailed information about the toy. Here’s the link.

4. Blue Beads. Great, manageable starter toy for guys interested in experimenting with the back door.

5. Aneros Prostate Stimulator. “Men,” Babeland explains, “if you want an orgasm like no other, the Aneros Prostate Stimulator can deliver the goods.”  It’s designed to stimulate externally and internally; plus, the handle is curved to please you (and/or your partner) as you rock the Aneros back and forth, pressing the space between the anus and balls (or vagina).

Technorati Tags: anal beads, Aneros Prostate Stimulator, Babeland, Blossom Sleeve, Fleshlight, funky brown chick, funkybrownchick, Hines, Maverick, Orbit Ring Vibe, Twanna, Twanna A. Hines

Hmmm, a little birdie told me the newest GQ is the 2008 “Men of the Year” issue. It doesn’t hit newsstands until tomorrow but, because it’s Manly Monday and mama loves ya, I nabbed pretty little advanced copies of the four covers for you. No doubt the Obama cover will be a really cool thing to own like 10 or 20 years from now; so, definitely buy that one. Obama’s face doesn’t quite look like him and Jon Hamm looks like he’s wearing a toupee, no?

Nitpicky stuff aside (…What the fuck do I know about cover art? I’m neither a photographer nor designer…), I really gotta hand it to GQ for their awesome list of men. Phelps CERTAINLY looks hotter draped on their cover than he did on that goofy Sports Illustrated thing and Leo’s lookin’ sexier than usual in the image above. If you wanna drool over more pics, watch a slideshow of the rest of the honorees online. Here’s the list:

• The Boston Celtics – Champions of the Year
• Thom Browne – Designer of the Year
• Chicago – City of the Year
• Aaron Eckhart – Villain of the Year
• Brandon Flowers – “Killer” Year
• Shephard Fairey – Artist of the Year
• Megan Fox – Obsession of the Year
• James Franco – Screen Idol of the Year
• Josh Hamilton, Texas Rangers – Comeback Kid of the Year
• Senator Ted Kennedy – Legend of the Year
• Seth MacFarlane – “Mogul” of the Year
• John Malkovich – Mad Genius of the Year
• Danny McBride – Funny Man of the Year
• MGMT and M.I.A. – Radio Gods of the Year
• Rafael Nadal – Court King of the Year
• Chris Paul, New Orleans Hornets – Breakout Athlete of the Year
• Sean Penn – “Drama Queen” of the Year
• General David Petraeus – Leader of the Year
• Gordon Ramsay – “Prick” of the Year
• Alain Robert – Daredevil of the Year
• Philip Roth – Icon of the Year
• Jason Statham – Action Hero of the Year
• The Men Behind The Wire – Tough Guys of the Year
• Neil Willenson – Local Hero of the Year
• Mark Zuckerberg – Boy Genius of the Year

I’m not gonna comment on every guy; I hate long blog post. But, I wanna mention a few quick things. HIGH FIVE to the magazine for naming my hometown “City of the Year.” I live in New York City, but I’ll always be an Illinoisan at heart. My eyeballs can’t ever get enough of Rafael Nadal’s body, so I’m thankful they included him in the group. (SIDENOTE: Hat tip to New York magazine for their delicious Nadal cover earlier this year. Total deliciousness.) And, finally, aren’t we glad Sean Penn is getting the accolades / big ups he deserves? I can’t wait to see him in Milk. Hmmm … as the year winds down, more “Men of the Year” lists will probably pop up. How do we feel about GQ’s list? Diverse enough? Are the guys hot enough? Did GQ leave anyone out? Feel free to size up their goods then share your thoughts in the comments section using the link below. Who’s the REAL man of the year?

Technorati Tags: Aaron Eckhart, Barack Obama, Chicago, funky brown chick, funkybrownchick, Gordon Ramsay, GQ magazine, GQ's men of the year, Harvey Milk, James Franco, John Malkovich, Jon Hamm, Leonardo DiCaprio, Man of the Year, Manly Mondays, Mark Zuckerberg, Megan Fox, Men of the Year, Michael Phelps, Milk the movie, Rafael Nadal, Sean Penn, Senator Ted Kennedy, Thom Browne, Twanna, Twanna A. Hines, Twanna Hines

Continuing with our regularly scheduled program … Typically, I do “Manly Mondays” at the top of the week. With a one-day delay, I guess it’s technically a Testicle Tuesday. I think it’s funny / odd / awesome / strange that the very first Manly Monday pick was almost exactly two years ago on November 27, 2006. The guy mentioned? The new James Bond in Casino Royale, Daniel Craig. I’ve been doing Manly Mondays so long that they’ve already written, filmed and released a second James Bond movie since then. Speaking of that, I sooooo can’t wait to see Quantum of Solace. If you’ve seen it, let me know what you thought. Okay, so, today’s Manly Monday pick is kind of sort of related to James Bond (broadly speaking) because, well, he’s British. Jon Yongfook makes cool stuff and he’s hot.

Fuck. Look at him. God, he’s gorgeous, isn’t he? In his own words, Yongfook hails from “Her Majesties United Kingdom of Great Britain Scones Tea Cricket Beer.” Beauty *and* a sense of humor?!?! Somebody dip this man in honey and bring him to me so I can lick him!! Although Yongfook now lives in Tokyo and I live in New York City, we both used to live in Kent. We’ve never met in person; I discovered him when I began launching my personal site, www.twannahines.com. It’s powered by his brainchild, Sweetcron. This guy is smart. Really smart with tech / internet stuff. <tangent>Brainy men reeeeeeally turn me on.</tangent> By the way, Yongfook is also the creator of Open Source Food — an online community where food lovers and avid cooks can browse, create and share recipes. Hmmm … Beauty, brains, a sense of humor AND he can cook??? We should make blasians! Baby Funky Yongfook.

[Funky Brown Chick turns on sultry, sexy voice.] Yongfook, sexy, if you’re reading this … um, when are you coming to New York? ;)

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Fookshots appear courtesy of Yongfook. Wanna drool over more? Check out his Flickr.

Technorati Tags: "gorgeous men", "hot men", "Jon Anthony Yongfook Cockle", "Open Source Food", "sexy men", Asian men, blasian, England, Flickr, fookshots, funky brown chick, funkybrownchick, Jon Yongfook, Kent, sexy asian man, Sweetcron, Twanna, Twanna A. Hines, Twanna Hines

Happy Manly Monday, my sweets; Hope you all had wonderful weekends! Today’s Manly Monday nod goes to men who crave BBW sex. As I mentioned over on my personal site, “The first time I heard the term BBW, I thought it meant ‘Beautiful Black Woman.’ At 5′5″, 118 lbs and very proud of my heritage, I started telling people I was a BBW. (Sid from the blog Siddity in the City corrected my erroneous mind and told me BBW means BIG AND BEAUTIFUL WOMEN.)” Okay, so, a short while ago, I read a study that said overweight women have more sex than “normal” women. The first question Jezebel, other folks and I wondered was: “What the fuck is normal?” That aside, I think a blogger named Mollena hit the nail on the head when she said: “I do not think that there is a correlation between sexual activity and weight.” Hmmm … interesting topic, no? So, I thought I’d ask a bunch of other bloggers what they thought. Here’s the skinny on BBW sex …

Mollena: “My sexuality is less dependant on how fat my ass feels than how good I feel about my fat ass. When I was thinner and miserable, I didn’t give a fuck about sex. However, when I felt good about myself, I noticed I enjoyed sex more thoroughly. When I was fat and miserable, I also failed to give a fuck about sex. However, when I felt good about myself, I noticed I enjoyed sex more thoroughly. The question of ‘who has more sex’ assumes several things, and that is why I have a problem with it. It assumes that a higher frequency of sex has a direct correlation with being ‘better’ for ya, or having more satisfying sex. It doesn’t. It assumes that there is either ‘fat’ or ‘not fat’ and fails to take in things like cultural preference and the gap between how people self-identify and how people would be identified by others [...] Another problem with that question is that it discounts personal taste, and that is a rough one to overlook. I know some men who simply aren’t turned on by fat girls. I know some men who INSIST on a more Callipygian posterior with which to tryst. It is all cut from the same cloth. And there is plenty of sex to go around.”

David F. Cooper: “Not only does starving oneself not put one in the mood it may also indicate a discomfort with sexuality and a nostalgia for the sexual ignorance of childhood. Anorexic women equate being thin with being ‘good’; they want to be ‘good girls’ and have an irrational fear of adult sexuality.”

ThatToyChick: “[...] I love food. I’m willing to go out on a limb here and say that if you are open enough to alter your body shape to try new experiences and (over?) indulge in one aspect, it isn’t a stretch to say it could happen in another, right? So that’s my take…maybe ladies that like to try new foods (psychology-wise, taking something “into them” - *brow waggle*) are more likely to take that exploratory nature to the bedroom as well.”

Bianca: “[...]I love being a big woman of Color and I’m aware of my body. It wasn’t always easy especially during adolescence when identity is being shaped and formed as for many of us regardless of size and shape (and race and ability etc.). I love the way my body feels, how my ass shakes when I walk, how I can use my entire body to comfort my lover after a great fuck, how the sunshine on the beach makes my stretch marks iridescent, how my body is proportioned, how my lover doesn’t have to hurt his back to lean down and kiss me because i am his height (6ft), how my tattoos have movement, how the curve of my back is just the introduction to my ass, how my breasts are a mouthful. I’m sensuous all the time. I drip sensuality. That is why men and women want to fuck me or have me fuck them.”

Jolie Du Pre: “I’m not a BBW. However, I have a lot of sex with my husband and with other people. I’m a swinger with a solid, honest marriage of over 20 years and a great sex life. I don’t understand this notion that BBW’s have more sex. Some do, for sure. But you can’t generalize.”

maylady84: “I’m a size 16 and all my friends are size 12 and under. I’ve always been the thickest out of my friends since forever! Since I started having sex I’ve been getting it regularly! I’m from a small town in the south, raised on collard greens and cornbread, where I’m from.. men like women with a lot of meat! [...] My body is quite nice, just a bit thicker than what mainstream thinks is beautiful.”

THEflyGIRL: “I’m 5′9 and for most of my adult life, I’ve been a size 16/18. And I must say I have always had my pick of sexual partners. There is a misconception that ‘big’ women (I hate that term) don’t get love and that is by far untrue [...] And I’ve been told that it’s for a number of reasons: from larger women have larger ‘assets’ to we are ‘juicer’. I also look like I can handle a good fucking. I’m built for a good session, I won’t lie.”

Those are a few thoughts from around the blogosphere. Feel free to use the comments section below to share your thoughts. Pssst … As usual, the “Golden Rule” on Funky Brown Chick is be kind / don’t be an asshole. So, if you simply have cruel, stupid or unkind stuff to say, please don’t waste anyone’s time.

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Credit paid: Images above are from Adipositivity. Quote from their website: “The Adipositivity Project aims to promote size acceptance, not by listing the merits of big people, or detailing examples of excellence (these things are easily seen all around us), but rather, through a visual display of fat physicality. The sort that’s normally unseen.” Hat tip to Bianca for the link!!

Technorati Tags: Adipositivity, BBW, Bianca Laureano, David F. Cooper, fat acceptance, funky brown chick, funkybrownchick, Jolie Du Pre, maylady84, Mollena, Siddity in the City, size acceptance, THEflyGIRL, Twanna, Twanna A. Hines, Twanna Hines

BRYAN R. ADAMS: Um, yeah, so, I’ve been meaning to talk to you about your boy.
FUNKY BROWN CHICK: What boy? I don’t have a boy.

BRYAN R. ADAMS: That site … um, what’s that site … Mashable? I’m just saying, you know, I saw you wrote for it and stuff … and of course I saw the picture.
FUNKY BROWN CHICK: I like Mashable; it’s a good site. You should check it out.

BRYAN R. ADAMS: Yeah … um … but, see, before I say what I’m about to say, I just wanna set a few things straight …
FUNKY BROWN CHICK: [uh-oh]

BRYAN R. ADAMS: I’m a man.
FUNKY BROWN CHICK: Uh-huh?

BRYAN R. ADAMS: I LOVE my wife … We have a beautiful child together. You know what I’m saying? I’m in love with my wife, and I’m as straight as they come.
FUNKY BROWN CHICK: I never doubted that.

BRYAN R. ADAMS: Yeah, yeah, I know, I know … I’m just saying …
FUNKY BROWN CHICK: Pete Cashmore?

BRYAN R. ADAMS: [shifts uncomfortably] Yeah … Even *I* have to admit …
BRYAN R. ADAMS: That’s one good-looking dude.

This post was endorsed by: (1) The Brown Girls Who Think Pete Cashmore is Sexeh Club, LLC; (2) random white dudes who like brown sugar; and (3) straight men everywhere who are secure enough with their sexuality to admit another dude is attractive. I’m Twanna A. Hines, and I approved this message.

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Credit paid: Photo of me & Bryan was taken at a Supernodes event — the best party for NYC’s grown & sexy crowd. To learn more about Bryan R. Adams (the dude who loves his wife’s brown sugar) visit this site. Chocolate cupcake photo of Pete is by Andrew Mager (via Valleywag).

Technorati Tags: Brown Girls Who Think Pete Cashmore Is Sexeh Club, Bryan R. Adams, funky brown chick, funkybrownchick, Manly Monday, Mashable, Pete Cashmore, Twanna, Twanna A. Hines, Twanna Hines